Twas The Night Before South-Snowpocalypse

Apparently, the Southern Snowpocalypse is going to hit Georgia sometime tomorrow so I better just get some thoughts out there so I can start preparing for the pending doom and gloom. This afternoon there were empty shelves where the milk and bread should be as well as long lines with all the people who suddenly felt the need to go out and buy a pantry full of food all because the weather people used the word SNOW.

Do you know how aggravating it is to stand in line for an hour an a half waiting to purchase a can of coffee and two boxes of cereal? They should have a separate line at the store for people who aren’t panicking about the storm and just want to make their purchase and chuckle as they walk out the door. Sadly no, that is not the case. Instead, we are forced to stand in line and listen to people talk about the time they got stuck in the snow in Peoria, or the time they ran out of bread and had to wait 12 hours to get to the store. THE HORROR!!!

I moved here in 1997 with my new bride and every year we have had snowfall of some kind. In all but two years the snow never amounted to more than a dusting, but twice in those 13 years we have had at least an inch of snow and never more than 3. Each time the weather people utter the word, every loaf of bread and every gallon of milk within a 50 mile radius of Atlanta suddenly disappear. Now that’s MAGIC!

For about an hour and a half you can find those items in the arms of desperate shoppers who are then stuck in line trying to get their “emergency supplies” before the storm (which could speed up and suddenly dump tons of snow on them) arrives at their location.

I have always wondered what happens to the 17 loaves of bread and the 12 gallons of milk I see people buying for a family of four. Do they eat bread and milk for a week to use it all up when they realize they are not snowed in, the roads do not need to be plowed, and they just made fools of themselves the night before at Wal-Mart debating if 17 loaves were going to be enough to sustain their small but obviously hungry family of four?

I suppose I will never find out the answer to that question, that would be more difficult than winning the lottery. The weather people are actually predicting “accumulating snow” this time which probably brought more than one person to their knees. Of course, when they do they could be praying, but my bet will be on them being in shock.

Yes, they are actually predicting snow this time. If we get some, I’ll take a photo, then I’ll make a PB & J with a glass of milk to celebrate. And don’t you worry, I’ll be toasting that family of four too, for making the right decision this time. One in 26 is a record to be proud of.

Now I am off to bed, complete with medicine for this headache, which also inspired this post.

3 thoughts on “Twas The Night Before South-Snowpocalypse

  1. I moved down here from northern NY this past April Michael. I take full responsibility for the snow as I believe it followed me down just to hack me off! You may blame me whole heartedly, but next year….ya’ll’re on your own!!
    Have a PB&J for me!

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