Afraid

Today was the one of the worst days of my entire life. Seriously.

I am in my mid forties. In my lifetime I have been exposed to a lot. Being the son of two law enforcement professionals and having worked at a county jail for six years, I honestly thought I had seen and heard it all.

Until today.

I cannot go into details at this time, but today was a truly horrible day.

As a volunteer in emergency services, I have seen a dead body up close and I’ve seen a decapitated body just moments after the decapitation occured. Being a bit accident prone at times I have sliced my left pinky to the bone and I have literally filleted my left shin. While working in the county jail I saw court documentation and heard stories that were disgusting, turned my stomach and made me physically ill.

While serving today we were presented with a case that is by far, the most heart wrenching, disgusting, and stomach turning case I have ever seen in my lifetime. When we started our term of service we were told we would hear things about our community that were going to shock us.

That was an understatement.

I never have nightmares. I can’t even remember the last time I had one. Tonight, however, I am afraid to close my eyes, except to say a prayer for victim who is still fighting to survive.