Kathleen Fasanella And Her Fashionable Dogpiles

What a difference 24 hours can make.

I’m sure you remember the posts I did on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday regarding an incident over at the Fashion Incubator forum involving the owner of the site, Kathleen Fasanella, and my wife. If you haven’t read them, you may want to, but it won’t be required to follow along with this post because I am going to re-cap the weekend’s events.

You see, it all started on June 26th, when my wife replied to a thread in the Fashion Incubator forum. That reply was promptly deleted by Kathleen Fasanella. My wife didn’t appreciate having her seemingly benign post censored so she left a message to everyone that she was leaving the forum because of the censorship and she would not be back.

I detailed the events of that day in my post, An Open Letter To Kathleen Fasanella.

On Saturday, the 27th, Fasanella wrote a series of emails to my wife, and to one of my wife’s business colleagues with a warning to the colleague,

I don’t know what to make of the above but her actions should be a heads up as to whether you want to be involved with her.

My wife posted the information to her site, so people would see what Kathleen Fasanella was attempting to do to her professionally.

Because of those email responses and Kathleen Fasanella‘s attempts to (a) bring my wife’s character into question, (b) make veiled legal threats, and (c) sabotage my wife’s business, I did a follow up post titled, Kathleen Fasanella Incubates More Than Fashion.

Early the next day, Sunday (the 28th) my wife noticed some hits coming to her site from delicious, the social bookmarking web site. She clicked the link to see who had bookmarked her site. Imagine our surprise when we saw that Kathleen Fasanella had bookmarked all three of my wife’s web sites, personal as well as professional, and by using the comments in her bookmarks she attempted to lead people to believe that my wife was psycho, crazy, off her meds, and a wannabe who pretends to work in the industry.

I went into great detail in my post, Kathleen Fasanella Has Crossed The Line, because for two days Kathleen accused my wife of unsubstantiated slanderous and libelous claims, even though it was Fassanella herself who admitted deleting the post in question on her forum and then made comments which were slanderous and libelous against my wife.

Yes folks, the whole thing was about the deletion of one post on the Fashion Incubator forum. Truth be told, it’s Kathleen’s right to delete any post on her forum, after all it is her forum. And, as a member of the forum, it is also my wife’s right to quit the forum because of it. No harm, no foul.

Well we thought so anyway, until the obvious attempts to sabotage my wife’s business, the slanderous statements, and the libelous defamatory comment about Gidget being on meds were made.

When I wrote that last post, I didn’t realize there was a third bookmark (which had cycled to the next page by the time I saw them) on delicious. When I discovered the third one last night I took a screen capture. Here is part of that capture (click the image to see the larger version).

I couldn’t believe that I missed that one, and was prepared to let it go, but while checking Kathleen Fasanella’s bookmarks this evening I realized that all of those bookmarks from June 27th are gone. They no longer appear on her delicious bookmark list. Check it out (click the image to see the larger version).

That’s right. There’s not a single entry for June 27th. What could have happened to them? It’s almost as if someone has a strange fascination with the delete key, doesn’t it? The problem is, the damage has already been done.

During the time it took to write this much of this post, Gidget found an incoming link to her personal site from Dogpile. Take a look (yes, clicking the link will render the larger image).

When she saw the results that came up, she did a search for her business, Buttercup 149. (Once again, click the image, yadda yadda yadda).

Kathleen Fasanella’s attempt to call my wife’s character into question and her attempt to defame my wife by claiming she was “off her meds” is now a permanent fixture on the Internet. No matter what happens from this day forward, no matter how many times someone tries to hit the delete key, Kathleen Fasanella’s comments are part of the permanent record, for everyone to see.

The funny thing is, that’s all we wanted in the first place. The reason I have discussed the incident in previous entries on my blog, the reason my wife left a message to everyone on the Fashion Incubator forum when she left, and the reason I am doing this post right now, is so there will always be a permanent record of how Kathleen Fasanella was treating my wife.

Thank you Kathleen for all of your efforts, without your crumb trails I couldn’t have put these posts together.

A Rare Quiet Monday

We had a nice quiet day today. Yes, it was Monday. Yes, there was work to be done. The thing is, it was nice, peaceful and calm all day long. The weather outside wasn’t too bad either so the kids actually got a chance to get outside for a while.

Our tomato plants are doing awesome, we have about three dozen roma, cherry, and beef steak tomatoes on our kitchen counter. There’s nothing like eating fresh picked tomatoes. Yum.

I am going to cut this post short tonight, because I have some things to get tonight and I know the longer I sit here reviewing the night, the less I am going to accomplish.

As for the previous post, I am still waiting, which reminds me…

Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking.

Author Unknown

Kathleen Fasanella Has Crossed The Line

Last night I mentioned that Kathleen Fasanella was trying to sabotage my wife professionally. This afternoon I found more evidence of this fact over on delicious, the social bookmarking website.

I am going to post all of the information here, in one place, so people can see Kathleen Fasanella for who she truly is.

First, let’s review what I said last night in my post, Kathleen Fasanella Incubates More Than Fashion.

As part of her exchange with Gidget this evening, she sent two emails, one of which Gidget posted in the comment section to show Kathleen’s true intentions. In the email to Evelyn, Kathleen states,

I don’t know what to make of the above but her actions should be a heads up as to whether you want to be involved with her. For my part, if I’d blown up in public with slander and libel as she has, I would have gone broke years ago, who would trust me assuming I didn’t get sued first?

Gidget’s “actions” were calling Kathleen out for deleting her post and wondering if this was a common practice for her at the Fashion Incubator. She did not “blow up in public” with slander and libel, she simply stated fact. Fact that I must once again point out was admitted too by Fasanella herself.

Just for the record, I am going to post the entire text from the relevant part of the email.

Subject: Fw: Re: [Fwd: Wheelchair sketches]
Date: Sat, 27 Jun 2009 19:09:11 -0700 (PDT)
From: Kathleen
Reply-To: kathleen@fashion-incubator.com
To: evelyn [entire email redacted because Evelyn isn’t involved in this discussion at this time]
CC: joyce@buttercup149.com

Hi Evelyn
In the event it becomes necessary, this is the discussion regarding yourself btwn me and Joyce thus far. Actually, this is the total conversation.

The reason I am forced to send you this is because Joyce (gidget) has made some wild unsubstantiated accusations against me here and here:
http://fashion-incubator.com/phpbb/viewtopic.php?p=33263#33263
http://allsewnup.com

and as this is way out of character for her -as I knew her- I cannot assume that she won’t say I said or did such and such thing I never said or did since she’s actively doing that already.

I don’t know what to make of the above but her actions should be a heads up as to whether you want to be involved with her. For my part, if I’d blown up in public with slander and libel as she has, I would have gone broke years ago, who would trust me assuming I didn’t get sued first? But different strokes. I don’t know where you are in your progress with her if at all but I think it’s only fair to send you this after she’s inquired about you. You should have a better idea of her character and how she is likely to react if things do not go her way or worse, however she has interpreted a situation to be, however factual or groundless it may be.

Don’t forget to talk to Sarah about Gidget’s work as I mentioned in the other email (also cc’d to joyce). Sarah’s profile on the forum is here:
http://fashion-incubator.com/phpbb/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=8703

Hope you are well
kathleen

As we all know from my post two days ago, An Open Letter To Kathleen Fasanella, as well as in the post last night, there are no unsubstantiated accusations being made by Gidget. Kathleen Fasanella deleted a post on the Fashion Incubator forum, she admitted that fact in the comments she left on Gidget’s website. There was no slander, no libel, just straight-forward simple fact.

Kathleen is attempting to portray my wife as someone who is acting “way out of character” and espouses knowing enough about my wife and her character to give Evelyn a “better idea of her character and how she is likely to react if things do not go her way or worse”.

Truth be told, Kathleen Fasanella does not know my wife. She is no friend to my wife. She’s simply a woman who runs a forum so people within the industry have a place to discuss their trade and help each other along the way.

The ONLY claim Gidget has made is that Kathleen deleted a post on the forum, and she called her on it. That’s it. She didn’t make any wild unsubstantiated claims, she didn’t try to smear Kathleen’s name in the industry. Gidget was simply upset because Kathleen was censoring the discussion in that thread and decided to leave the forum because of it.

Gidget has not contacted any of Kathleen’s clients to inform them of her underhanded tactics, she hasn’t posted bookmarks on other websites calling Kathleen a “psycho”, and she hasn’t incinuated that Kathleen is a “wannabe who pretends to work in the industry”.

The same cannot be said for Kathleen Fasanella.

The following is a screenshot from Kathleen’s bookmarks at delicious, the social bookmarking website. (Click the image to see it in full size).

kathleen-proof1-th.jpg

Did you notice the last two entries on that page? Let’s take a closer look.

kathleen1-closeup.jpg

Kathleen has not only emailed prospective clients calling my wife’s character into question, but now we also have evidence that she is calling my wife a “psycho home sewer”, insinuating that my wife is “just plain crazy”, asking if my wife is “off her meds”, and claiming my wife is a “wannabe who pretends to work in the industry”.

If the items above are not enough to show she is obsessed with destroying my wife’s reputation, I am not sure what is. It’s clear to me now that Kathleen Fasanella is a sick woman, hellbent on destroying anyone who dares speak out about her true character.

Kathleen Fasanella claims that unsubstantiated slanderous and libelous accusations have been made. For the benefit of everyone involved, let’s review statements made by both sides.

Gidget accused Kathleen of deleting a post on the Fashion Incubator forum. Kathleen acknowledged that she had indeed done so. Nope. No slander or libel there. The statement is true, based on Kathleen’s own substantiation of that claim.

Gidget has made no other claims against Kathleen, so let’s look at Kathleen’s statements now.

Kathleen Fasanella has called my wife a “psycho home sewer”. My wife has no psychological problems. She had never had any psychotic episodes (unless you take into account that she joined the Fashion Incubator in the first place). Therefore, Kathleen’s statement is completely false and designed to defame my wife and damage her reputation. That sounds a bit slanderous to me.

Remember, slander is defined as “the utterance of false charges or misrepresentations which defame and damage another’s reputation.”

Kathleen Fasanella has insinuated my wife is “just plain crazy”. Again, there is no history of mental illness in our family, except for Gidget’s sister April, who was born mentally handicapped due to a lack of oxygen during childbirth. Surely we can’t hold that against her. This insinuation also defames my wife and damages her reputation making it another example of a slanderous statement made by Kathleen against my wife.

Kathleen claims my wife is “off her meds”. Gidget is not on any medications, unless of course you count over-the-counter acetaminophen and ibuprofen tablets that she takes when people like Kathleen give her an aching headache, which seems to be happening a lot in the past 24 hours. Making such a claim, that my wife is on meds, is a written defamatory statement that conveys an unjustly unfavorable impression of my wife. I believe, if I am not mistaken, that Kathleen’s claim fits the legal definition of libel. Any attorneys out there who want to help me out with this one?

Again, the definition of libel is, “a written or oral defamatory statement or representation that conveys an unjustly unfavorable impression”.

My wife is not on any meds to be “off” of, and I think Kathleen has now crossed the line.

The last claim Kathleen makes is that my wife is a “wannabe who pretends to work in the industry”. Maybe Kathleen wishes Gidget was a wannabe. You can view Gidget’s personal website to view her sewing studio where she has four industrial sewing machines, a 21 foot cutting table, and a custom fabric rack. You can visit her business website to see what kinds of services she provides. Soon, you’ll see the website for her newest creations (that line of products I keep talking about), and then there will be no doubt about Gidget’s status in the industry.

I could take a photo of Gidget’s desk that shows her rolodex full of vendors, clients, and associates in the industry. She speaks with vendors, potential clients, existing clients, and other suppliers on a daily basis. She may be just starting out with her new product line, and may not be on a level to compete with some other people in the industry, but that’s hardly a case for calling someone a “wannabe”.

I find it interesting that Kathleen chose to call my wife a “home sewer” and a “wannabe” when she there are rumors that she herself is writing a book that is supposed to focus on exactly those people, home sewers and those who want to be in the industry. If the rumor is true, why would she attack the very people she expects to purchase her new book in the future?

Two days ago, I simply thought Kathleen Fasanella was rude for deleting a post from her Fashion Incubator forum. Yesterday, Kathleen made it personal when she called my wife’s character into question, made veiled threats to her, and attempted to sabotage her reputation with a colleague.

Today, I am livid. Kathleen Fasanella has slandered my wife. She has libeled my wife. She has made unsubstantiated claims about my wife. If she didn’t think it was personal before, it is now.

I have no idea why Kathleen Fasanella would make such statements and comments about my wife over a simple post in her forum. She is acting very unprofessional and she is making statements that are a clear defamation of my wife’s character.

STOP NOW KATHLEEN. I will repeat myself one more time in case it didn’t sink in the first time. STOP.RIGHT.NOW. You have made completely false, damaging public and private statements about my wife in an attempt to sabotage her personally and professionally.

You owe my wife an apology, immediately. You have already provided the evidence I need to pursue a case over potential lost income, slander and libel. Do you really want to push it further?

Continuing in this venue will force me to pursue you legally with every resource at my disposal and I will not stop until you have paid sufficiently, through the legal system, for the statements you have made about my wife.

I’m waiting for that public apology.

Kathleen Fasanella Incubates More Than Fashion

We didn’t have much while I was growing up. My parents split up when my sister and I were younger, and my mom shouldered the brunt of responsibility making sure we always had what we needed.

Don’t get me wrong. When I say we didn’t have much, I am speaking about material things that other people take for granted. We always had plenty of love, a roof over our heads, food on the table, and all of the essentials we may have needed. We were not poor, at least I don’t think we were. If we were, our mom sure never let us feel that way.

The one thing my mother always provided better than anyone else I have (or ever will) meet is guidance and the one lesson she taught me more than any other was to stand up for my principles. If we are not willing to stand up for our own principles, who else is going to do it? How can we hold others accountable if we do not hold ourselves accountable for our own actions?

I’ve made my fair share of mistakes in life, but the one thing I have never wavered on is standing on my principles. I have faced many obstacles over the years, some with great results, others not so much, but I have facced each of those outcomes with honor and acceptance because I know I have stayed true to who I am, and I have never compromised my principles.

With that said, make sure you read my previous post, An Open Letter To Kathleen Fasanella, before you read any further. If you haven’t read it, the remainder of this post will make little to no sense, and the whole experience will be similar to reading the end of the book first.

First, I want to present a couple additional facts about my wife’s experience at the Fashion Incubator yesterday.

As I said in the original post, Gidget discovered a discussion thread that she previously had never seen. She pulled up the thread and read it. She was shocked at some of the discussion and she replied, publicly, in the thread that what had happened was a shame but that she now understood why a member of the forum was no longer participating. Her response was completely on-topic and relevant to the conversation.

It wasn’t too long after posting her response that Gidget received a reply to her comment, in private, from Kathleen Fasanella, the owner of the Fashion Incubator website. Her reply to Gidget read (and I quote),

“I’d rather we didn’t get into a lot of controversy. J is still a member in good standing and you’re free to contact him. He is welcome to return at his discretion. I think he would be surprised at the warm reception he would get.”

That was her entire reply to my wife. There was nothing more included in the response, and within moments, the public reply that Gidget made was deleted from the forum. That is a fact. A fact that Fasanella admits in comments she made over at Gidget’s blog, All Sewn Up.

You can read the entire comment thread if you wish, but if you’ll bear with me, I am going to highlight some of that comment thread here on my blog to set the record straight and to make sure that people know what’s really going on here.

First of all, my wife’s announcement that she was leaving the Fashion Incubator forum, along with her post on her blog, was personal. It was a personal, professional decision. Fasanella was caught red-handed deleting posts from the Fashion Incubator forum. In a response she left on the forum, which she was kind enough to copy and paste at All Sewn Up, Fasanella writes,

Wow Gidget, call me confused! I emailed you beforehand explaining I wanted to delete your comment (the only off topic one) and I thought we were good. I don’t understand why you didn’t say so.

You read her reply to Gidget above. In that reply (the only reply Gidget received) Fasanella never mentioned deleting a comment. She never emailed Gidget. She sent a private message in the forum, not an email as she is attempting to make people believe. She goes on to state,

That seems like back biting to me. With all the personalized help I’ve given you, emails, phone convos, even getting you jobs etc

When it comes to “personalized help”, I’m not sure 10-12 random emails over the course of four years would constitute anything personalized, unless she means that her name was stamped at the top of the email, but then again, isn’t everyone’s email “personalized”? I don’t know who she speaks with when she picks up the phone but she has never spoken to my wife over the telephone, not once, so there were no “convos”. I’ll address the “getting you jobs” quote further down in this post, you don’t want to miss it, it’s really good. Now back to the subject at hand, the deleted post.

While it is her prerogative as owner of the Fashion Incubator forum to delete any posts she feels like deleting, it is also Gidget’s prerogative to choose not to associate with someone who chooses to censor what she has to say in a public forum where she was simply participating in the discussion at hand, even if it was approximately two months old.

Fasanella goes on to state on true fact. She writes,

To avoid problems, it is probably best to only say what you know to be certain. For example, you said “because no doubt it will be deleted – as I find most are:”, how do you know most are? How can you know that? You can’t.

She’s absolutely right. We don’t know how many posts she has deleted, we have no idea if most are, if some are, but we do know, for a fact, that she has deleted posts, she admitted it herself. That’s precedent if you ask me. Thank goodness we all agree on that, huh?

As I said before, Gidget’s decision to leave the Fashion Incubator was based on the fact that Kathleen Fasanella has made it personal by deleting that post. Now, she is calling my wife’s character into question and issuing veiled threats. Because of this, it’s now personal, to me. She states,

Are you sure you want to go toe to toe legally over something I can prove?

Who’s wanting to go toe to toe with her, and legally at that? Until today, my wife was simply upset that Kathleen Fasanella deleted the post on the Fashion Incubator forum. Fasanella does not deny deleting the post. Why would legalities come into the picture? Is this some sort of threat on Fasanella’s part? Maybe she brought up the whole toe thing because she’s been busy planting her own foot in her mouth? She continues,

Like I said, I understand you are upset altho I do not know why (there’s something else going on) but if you’re slanderous and libelous making unsubstantiated claims, it’s easy to have your host pull the site which is kind of a waste of everyone’s time. Say all kinds of horrible things about me you know are true, lord knows I have plenty of sins but back off what you cannot prove.

I think we all, as adults, know the definitions of slander and libel, but just in case, I thought I would post them here.

According to Webster’s the definition of slander is,

the utterance of false charges or misrepresentations which defame and damage another’s reputation.

Webster’s also states that libel is,

a written or oral defamatory statement or representation that conveys an unjustly unfavorable impression

There was no slander, there was no libelous “unsubstantiated claims”. Post(s) have been deleted. No one can be sure how many may have been deleted, but Fasanella herself admits to deleting the post. Of course, Gidget’s web host would take that into account if the accusation was ever presented to them. Oh wait. With all the excitement, I almost forgot. I AM her web host. Yes, it’s true. Nepotism runs amuck in our household. My wife hosts all of her websites with my company, Aria Interactive, on my server(s). I can guarantee with Fasanellas admission that she deleted the post, I (or any other web host) would never “pull” anyone’s site, let alone my wife’s for claiming she had done so.

She accuses my wife of acting “Irrationally” because she chose to call her out for what she did. She insinuates that “there’s something else going on” because my wife decided she wasn’t going to take the striking of her post laying down like a lap dog. I don’t know what world Kathleen Fasanella lives in, but here in the real world we call that character, we call that honesty, and most of all, we call that standing on principle.

Let me apologize now for the length of this post, as I did not intend to post a line by line assessment of Kathleen Fasanella’s comments, but as I read farther down into the comment thread at All Sewn Up, it because obvious that she is attempting to sabotage my wife professionally.

Let’s continue with the commment she left on All Sewn Up, and get to that “getting you jobs” statement she was so bold to make way up there in the beginning.

Speaking of slamming, did I tell a soul about that last contract job you did? I helped you get that job. Sarah came to me for a referral of you and I said she could trust you. That you ruined the whole lot, Sarah lost out and I looked bad for recommending you. But did I slam you? No, until this moment, I haven’t mentioned it to a soul.

For the record, “that last contract job” Gidget had was not the project for Sarah M, known to me as “the contract job from hell from a designer who didn’t know shit about what she was doing”. Gidget has had several other projects, some that might even make Kathleen Fasanella wish she hadn’t deleted that post.

The job she references was a fiasco from day one. The designer never sent Gidget a proper sample with binding. Gidget made it clear to the designer from day one that the binding might be an issue, because as it turns out, she (the designer) had sent a totally inappropriate fabric to be used as the binding. Gidget made it clear to the designer that she had never done this type of work before, but the designer chose to work with her on the project.

When Gidget received the materials for the project, the designer had failed to send the required yardage so the start of the project was delayed. Once she had all the materials, Gidget sent her cutouts to the embroiderer, whom Gidget paid for his work. Because of the binding fiasco, I took Gidget to a couple local fabric stores to purchase alternative fabrics that might work as the binding (with the designers knowledge, but not to her expense).

The binding simply was not working because the design of the product was insufficient. Gidget knew then that she would not be able to finish the project with the equipment (and fabrics) she had on hand, so she packaged up the entire project, along with a check refunding the $100 deposit made by Sarah M. There was a week remaining before the due date for the project so Gidget sent the package overnight (at a cost of $84) along with a note that all of the materials had been put together, the sleep masks simply needed to have the binding attached and they would be complete.

So let’s review. Sarah M, the designer who never supplied a proper sample, contracted Gidget to produce some sleep masks for her. Gidget calculated the required amount of fabric and binding and did not receive the required amount with the first shipment from the designer. Gidget went out of her way to make the design work to no avail.

Gidget spent $50 on different fabrics (in hopes of making the binding work) and $84 to make sure that Sarah M received the items in time to find someone who could bind them for her. That job cost my wife $134 plus the cost of shipping the material to be embroidered, the cost of embroidering roughly 70 sleep masks, and the return shipping costs. Thanks for the one job, Kathleen. If you had sent any more we may have gone bankrupt.

Getting back to the attempt to sabotage Gidget professionally. As part of her exchange with Gidget this evening, she sent two emails, one of which Gidget posted in the comment section to show Kathleen’s true intentions. In the email to Evelyn, Kathleen states,

I don’t know what to make of the above but her actions should be a heads up as to whether you want to be involved with her. For my part, if I’d blown up in public with slander and libel as she has, I would have gone broke years ago, who would trust me assuming I didn’t get sued first?

Gidget’s “actions” were calling Kathleen out for deleting her post and wondering if this was a common practice for her at the Fashion Incubator. She did not “blow up in public” with slander and libel, she simply stated fact. Fact that I must once again point out was admitted too by Fasanella herself.

It seems to me that Kathleen Fasanella has a personal chip on her shoulder for my wife. I don’t know why she would stoop so low as to attempt to sabotage her with a fellow colleague, and I have no idea why she would presume to know all the facts in the Sarah M design debacle. But I do know one thing. She has not been slandered, she has not been libeled, but if she wants to play that game she needs to realize that she is treading on thin ice when it comes to sabotaging my wife’s business.

In the comment thread Kathleen Fasanella points out that actions speak louder than words. Gidget’s sole action was questioning the deletion of a post, while Fasanella’s actions have included calling my wife’s character into question, issuing veiled threats, and attempting to sabotage her business. She’s right, actions do speak louder than words. Thank you for speaking so loudly, Kathleen.

I don’t know about you, but if I had to choose who to be involved with professionally, I would much rather associate myself with the honest person who “blows up in public” rather than the shady character who “lurks in the shadows of the delete key”.

But that’s just me, and you know me, I don’t compromise my principles.

An Open Letter To Kathleen Fasanella

Dear Mrs. Fasanella,

I have never met you in person, nor have I conversed with you via the Internet or by any other means, but tonight I am writing to you to let you know that I do not think too highly of you right now and I think you should be ashamed of yourself.

For several years now, my wife Gidget has been researching, planning, and establishing her own business. She has extensive experience as a seamstress and decided to help supplement the family income by performing a service in which she excels. She came up with a business plan, organized her sewing studio, and it didn’t take long before Buttercup 149 was born. Soon she realized that Buttercup could become a full-time business if she worked hard to make it happen.

Four years ago she joined your forum, the Fashion Incubator in the hopes of learning more about the business by participating in a platform that appeared to foster new ideas and provide support from her peers in the industry. Over time, she paid $100 and she bought your book, “The Entrepreneur’s Guide to Sewn Product Manufacturing” to fulfill the conditions you set for membership.

Gidget has really enjoyed some of the discussions on the Fashion Incubator. She has learned from those discussions and she has developed strong friendships with some of the other members of the forum. She communicates daily with several members of the forum and she is thankful for the relationships that have developed because of those conversations. To say the least, the relationships are invaluable to her.

Over the past couple years, Gidget came up with some ideas for products that could benefit the elderly and disabled, so she began researching the market for the products she wanted to develop. She started drafting patterns and lining up sources for the materials she would need to manufacture those items. She works hard every day to make sure her business is a success and developing the new line of products. Yet she still finds time to log into the forum everyday to read posts, participate in discussions and be an active member of the community.

I honestly don’t know where she finds the time to do all of that while keeping our home nice and tidy and homeschooling our three children. She often mumbles under her breath about sitting at the computer too long, reading posts in the forum when she should be working or doing something around the house, but she never felt like she was wasting her time by participating in your forum, until this afternoon.

At this point I think I should tell you that Gidget has mentioned your name quite often around here. She has spoken often about your experience in the industry and the valuable resource that you provide through the forum. She respected that experience, she respected you. But while reading through the forum today, she found some posts she had not seen before, and was shocked at the tone and content of some of the posts in the thread she had found. She spends a lot of time on the forum each day and she never noticed that thread before. It’s like it appeared out of nowhere. She has wondered for a long time why another member of the forum has not participated for a very long time, and the thread pretty much explained why he was MIA.

She replied in the thread that what had happened was a shame but that she now understood why that other member was no longer participating in the forum. The thread explained it all.

Soon after posting that reply, you sent Gidget a private message telling her you wished to avoid any “controversy”. Then, you deleted the post she made in the public thread.

Gidget was not taking sides. She was not flaming anyone. She was simply commenting on a fact that several members of the forum had noticed the absence of the other member as well. But yet, you deleted the post. Why would you delete a post as benign as the one she made in that thread? What controversy were you trying to “avoid”? A simple explanation or civil conversation would have yielded much better results than censoring a post in the forum that you simply didn’t agree with.

I understand that the Fashion Incubator belongs to you and in no way am I telling you how you should operate your forum, but deleting posts is a chicken-shit thing to do. When you have to rely on deleting posts to re-write history rather than discuss a topic with civility and sincerity you deprive yourself and your members of the most important element. Honesty.

How many other posts have you deleted? How many other conversation threads have been altered because you decided to delete posts rather than discuss the issue as an adult? Honestly? No one will ever know will they? And no matter what you say now, there is no way to know for sure. No one will know if they can believe you, because you’ve already done it. You deleted the post I referenced above, no one will ever see it on the Fashion Incubator. I was standing beside Gidget when she posted it. I was standing by her side when she read your private message. I was standing by her side when she realized you had deleted the public post.

You may have 25 years experience in your industry, but I wonder how much of that experience is based on your attempts to re-write history or censor those who may know otherwise?

Tonight my wife posted a good-bye on your forum. She’s had enough. Yep. All it took was one incident of seeing you for who you really are to make her realize that any future involvement with the Fashion Incubator would be a complete waste of her time and energy. I just wish she had learned this before throwing $100 in your feeding trough, spending money on your book, and sitting for hours on end reading the words you espouse as an “expert” in your field.

I have no idea what prompted your response to delete that post, but it seems to me that you have some sort of chip on your shoulder for the person discussed in that thread, and you are acting spiteful and insecure. It seems as if you are covering your tracks if there is even the slightest possibility that someone might make you look bad, even when someone like my wife, who has never had a mean thing to say about you, posts a benign message in a thread that is two months old.

As I said when I started this post, I do not think too highly of you this evening. I think you owe my wife an apology, publicly, in your forum, and anything less will just prove that you have no ethical backbone. But don’t you worry. If you don’t feel like apologizing, this post will be here for a very long time so people will know what really happens behind the scenes at the Fashion Incubator. This is one post you won’t be able to delete. This is one history you will not be able to re-write.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

A Very Sad Day In America

A little over a month ago I watched “Farrah’s Story” on NBC. The story chronicled Farrah Fawcett’s battle with anal cancer and ultimately liver cancer. As I watched the story unfold, I realized how very sick she has been for quite a long time, so I was not too shocked when I heard the news last night that she had taken a turn for the worst.

A lot of guys my age, myself included, had Farrah’s poster on their wall and will always remember her as the blonde bombshell she was. She played Jill Munroe, the blonde, beautiful, detective on Charlie’s Angels.

While Farrah will mostly be remembered for her role on Charlie’s Angels and that poster, she was an incredible actress who appeared in made for TV movies such as “The Burning Bed”. Although she held a degree in Microbiology, she chose to pursue acting, and in turn became an American icon.

Farrah Fawcett lost her battle with cancer this morning, and I for one will miss her. Having grown up in an era with icons like Farrah Fawcett, Mark Spitz, Evel Knievel, Lynda Carter, The Osmonds, The Waltons, The Brady Bunch, and Fonzie, it comes as quite a shock when they start passing away.

I don’t remember the first time I heard Michael Jackson sing, or the first time I saw him on television, but I know I was very, very young at the time. I grew up listening to the Jackson Five and who can forget his solo albums like Off The Wall, Bad, Dangerous, and of course, Thriller?

Earlier today, Michael Jackson collapsed at his home in California and was rushed to Cedars-Sinai Hospital in Los Angeles where he was pronounced dead. Reports indicate that he suffered from cardiac arrest and was not breathing when paramedics arrived at his home. The King of Pop is dead.

Forgetting, for a moment, everything else going on in the world, today is a very sad day in America.

20090625-sad.jpg

May they both rest in peace.